i’m super bummed because i made a cool friend but now she’s moving away to go to medical school
which is awesome for her, she’s smart and she’ll be great at it
but selfishly, i can’t stop thinking about how awesome it was to have a friend who loves gin and nihilism and cats and perfect eyebrows and scary movies
there was a vigil. i didn’t go because i didn’t feel like i knew her well enough to be there, but the photographer gave me the pictures of her that i loved so much and i took them to the location of the vigil. her daughter has them now.
years and years ago, back when i just came to events at the gallery and wasn’t a part of it and didn’t really know anybody, i saw these beautiful vibrant pictures on display of a cool woman just exuding personality, and i loved them.
after seeing them a few times, i approached the photographer about doing a shoot with him. he and his wife and dogs and cats ended up being so important to my life.
and if i hadn’t met him, i don’t know if i ever would have met my cousin.
i only met the woman from the pictures a couple of times. she moved away years ago, our paths didn’t intersect much.
she had been missing for several days, and her body was found today. i’m deeply sad about it, even though i barely knew her, because how different my life would be if i hadn’t loved those pictures of her.
i thought that i had posted a reply but tumblr lost it. cool.
and no, not really. i’ve talked about some of the things during sessions but it always seems to be glossed over with the most basic “you need to work on your self esteem”
and things like - okay, at one point, i was talking about the lack of worth i feel, and she asked me if a child walked into the room, if i would tell them that they have no worth. it just really seemed to oversimplify everything i was talking about. i’m not a child and my issues are different than those a child faces.
i don’t know, i guess it’s better than nothing. but i’m still frustrated.
